When love turns to crumbs: Recognising and dealing with breadcrumbing

Does your partner avoid hugging, kissing, or small romantic gestures? Do you only hear "sweet words" after prompting him? This phenomenon is referred to as "breadcrumbing." How can you protect yourself from it?

These days, many women encounter the phenomenon of "breadcrumbing." It refers to a situation where someone starts a romantic relationship but offers their partner only scraps of attention, love, or commitment. The victim begins to feel confused and uncertain, and her self-esteem drastically drops.

A relationship based on "breadcrumbing" is extremely harmful to the person experiencing it. Such relationships lead to emotional instability, causing constant mood changes and a sense of being "unnoticed." As a result, the victim feels uncertain and lacks emotional stability.

Research conducted in 2019 in central Spain, presented in the "International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health" in February 2020, showed that individuals who experienced "breadcrumbing" or "ghosting" in the past twelve months felt many intense negative emotions, such as a sense of helplessness or loneliness. Their self-esteem was significantly lowered, and they felt confused and misunderstood. This research was conducted on 636 adults aged 18 to 40.

What does psychology say? According to specialists, individuals entering or stuck in such relationships strongly need attention and acceptance. This stems from a low sense of self-worth. They seek it in the eyes of others, most often a partner. The problem arises when the partner's opinion matters more than what the person thinks of themselves. In such a situation, there is a high risk of encountering someone who initially offers their attention and love but does so less and less over time. This type of partner is referred to as a "crumb-giver."

"Breadcrumbing" is a form of manipulation. The partner creates the impression that they are striving for a genuine relationship, but in reality, they avoid commitment. What behaviours should raise our alertness?

            
1. The partner makes vague promises and responds to your plans with phrases like 'we'll see' or 'we still have time', and then doesn't follow through.
2. Often calls, then shows no interest for days.
3. Their behaviour in real life and online is completely different, as if they were another person.
4. Makes many promises but fulfils none of them.
5. Sometimes showers you with compliments and then treats you completely indifferently.
6. Often makes you feel guilty around them.
7. Avoids conversations about feelings or emotions.

If these signs appear in your relationship, it's a signal that something is wrong. Consider if you want to stay in such a relationship. Don't you deserve more than scraps of love and attention? Remember, your worth doesn't depend on your partner. It's something no one can take from you. If you feel that this situation has affected your mental health, see a psychologist.